Hospital staff themselves made a large collection, put me in a convent run by sisters and said that they will be coming after some days, but they did not come back. As nobody came to make payment for my stay there, the sister sent me out. She said that the convent is for the sisters and not an orphanage. She gave me the names of several places where refugees are accommodated and suggested that I go there. She also gave me some money in my hand. I did not know those places or how to go there. So I went to Trivandrum District to the houses of the believers with whom I had previously stayed.
But they were all afraid for giving me shelter because my family members had troubled them earlier and they also knew that they were still searching for me. So they would accommodate me just for two or three days and would ask me to go somewhere else. When I go to another place, they would send me to some other place. In some places, they asked me to go to such and such orphanage, Bible College or some other type of shelter. When I go there, they would tell, "If you bring a recommendation letter from the person who had directed you here, then we can admit you." There was nobody to help me and had no place to go. But the presence of the Holy Spirit was always with me. The driving force, the compelling thought which was ruling my heart was only the anticipation of, "What will be the next miraculous thing that is going to be revealed through the miracle working power of Jesus?" Because of the excitement of knowing what the next move of Jesus would be, the trouble and sorrow I was going through did not seem big to me.
My routine was to walk through the streets, to sit where there was some shade, read Bible, when thirsty I would drink water from the tap when I felt too much hungry and could not get anything else even after three-four days, I would eat banana skin. While walking along the streets if I hear the sound of prayer, I would enter, sit in a corner and hear the word of God, if I am offered water or tea I would accept, if any kindhearted people give me ten or twenty rupees, that also I would accept.
By this time I had the opportunity to have my baptism. One group of believers secretly baptized me. From there I went for household work. But because people have seen from TV and newspapers, the announcement that I was missing, nobody wanted to give me a job. They put me on a train and sent me. I got down at Kozikkode Railway Station and there I saw posters on the walls with my photo and the news that I was missing. I did not know where to go. I was frightened after seeing my posters on walls saying that I was missing and thought, "People are paying attention, police also are noticing. If they recognize me, they will catch me and hand me over to my family. I stood at a corner telling, "Now what am I to do, God?" Then a thought came into my mind that when David was before king Achish, he posed as a madman and escaped from his clutches. Why not do the same trick? But I said, "No, I cannot do that. David was a man. He had the facility to go to the forest to stay in caves etc, but where could I go?
While thinking like that and standing there, a mad girl came to me extending her hand and telling some unintelligent words. I then realized that my thoughts did not come from my mind, but was given to me by the Holy Spirit. I looked at her and the Holy Spirit inspired me to dress like her.
I looked at her and saw her dress. Even otherwise I had observed how mad people dress up. Thoughts and ideas which usually I do not have come to my mind. I dressed as she had dressed. I studied how she worked, what she was doing. I went wherever she went. Keeping a distance between us I followed her. I came to know that she belonged to a group of wanderers.
A group of people like wanderers can be seen everywhere in Trivandrum District over footpaths and also in most of the Government lands pitching tents and living there. I mingled among them, slept there in a corner spreading paper or cloth. What they ate I also ate. I did not come to that stage to murmur and say, "Why have I fallen down to this much low degree that I had to eat this food which these people eat." This was not what God taught me. What God taught me was, "these people who do not know God, who do not have a place to sleep, no food to eat, no help from anywhere for them. They eat the rotten staled food from garbage cans of hotels or what is being thrown from fruit stalls, they roam about aimlessly in the streets begging, when night comes they sleep in the same streets, in the morning they and their children rise up and go happily, joyfully, leaping and jumping. God cares even for those who do not know Him." If God can care for them how much more He will care for me who knows God and I praised God thinking all these things.
When God brought the Israelites out of Egypt and because they murmured, God made them go round the wilderness for forty years, but my God did not sit in heaven unconcerned about their welfare. The proof that God was with them can be understood from the fact that the Israelites could survive and reach their destination unharmed. The land they had to pass through was uninhabited, having an extreme cold as well as hot climates, where they had to face danger everywhere. They had to pass through a desert where there was no facility. But God walked with them in a pillar of cloud at daytime, in a pillar of fire at night. He provided them with manna for food and when they desired He gave them quail. When we go through trials and tribulations He will not leave us to our fate but will be with us and enable us to pass through those hurdles.
So I believe that when I spread paper and cloth on the footpath and laid down to sleep, God was also there with me. I thank God for the love of my Lord.
But they were all afraid for giving me shelter because my family members had troubled them earlier and they also knew that they were still searching for me. So they would accommodate me just for two or three days and would ask me to go somewhere else. When I go to another place, they would send me to some other place. In some places, they asked me to go to such and such orphanage, Bible College or some other type of shelter. When I go there, they would tell, "If you bring a recommendation letter from the person who had directed you here, then we can admit you." There was nobody to help me and had no place to go. But the presence of the Holy Spirit was always with me. The driving force, the compelling thought which was ruling my heart was only the anticipation of, "What will be the next miraculous thing that is going to be revealed through the miracle working power of Jesus?" Because of the excitement of knowing what the next move of Jesus would be, the trouble and sorrow I was going through did not seem big to me.
My routine was to walk through the streets, to sit where there was some shade, read Bible, when thirsty I would drink water from the tap when I felt too much hungry and could not get anything else even after three-four days, I would eat banana skin. While walking along the streets if I hear the sound of prayer, I would enter, sit in a corner and hear the word of God, if I am offered water or tea I would accept, if any kindhearted people give me ten or twenty rupees, that also I would accept.
By this time I had the opportunity to have my baptism. One group of believers secretly baptized me. From there I went for household work. But because people have seen from TV and newspapers, the announcement that I was missing, nobody wanted to give me a job. They put me on a train and sent me. I got down at Kozikkode Railway Station and there I saw posters on the walls with my photo and the news that I was missing. I did not know where to go. I was frightened after seeing my posters on walls saying that I was missing and thought, "People are paying attention, police also are noticing. If they recognize me, they will catch me and hand me over to my family. I stood at a corner telling, "Now what am I to do, God?" Then a thought came into my mind that when David was before king Achish, he posed as a madman and escaped from his clutches. Why not do the same trick? But I said, "No, I cannot do that. David was a man. He had the facility to go to the forest to stay in caves etc, but where could I go?
While thinking like that and standing there, a mad girl came to me extending her hand and telling some unintelligent words. I then realized that my thoughts did not come from my mind, but was given to me by the Holy Spirit. I looked at her and the Holy Spirit inspired me to dress like her.
I looked at her and saw her dress. Even otherwise I had observed how mad people dress up. Thoughts and ideas which usually I do not have come to my mind. I dressed as she had dressed. I studied how she worked, what she was doing. I went wherever she went. Keeping a distance between us I followed her. I came to know that she belonged to a group of wanderers.
A group of people like wanderers can be seen everywhere in Trivandrum District over footpaths and also in most of the Government lands pitching tents and living there. I mingled among them, slept there in a corner spreading paper or cloth. What they ate I also ate. I did not come to that stage to murmur and say, "Why have I fallen down to this much low degree that I had to eat this food which these people eat." This was not what God taught me. What God taught me was, "these people who do not know God, who do not have a place to sleep, no food to eat, no help from anywhere for them. They eat the rotten staled food from garbage cans of hotels or what is being thrown from fruit stalls, they roam about aimlessly in the streets begging, when night comes they sleep in the same streets, in the morning they and their children rise up and go happily, joyfully, leaping and jumping. God cares even for those who do not know Him." If God can care for them how much more He will care for me who knows God and I praised God thinking all these things.
When God brought the Israelites out of Egypt and because they murmured, God made them go round the wilderness for forty years, but my God did not sit in heaven unconcerned about their welfare. The proof that God was with them can be understood from the fact that the Israelites could survive and reach their destination unharmed. The land they had to pass through was uninhabited, having an extreme cold as well as hot climates, where they had to face danger everywhere. They had to pass through a desert where there was no facility. But God walked with them in a pillar of cloud at daytime, in a pillar of fire at night. He provided them with manna for food and when they desired He gave them quail. When we go through trials and tribulations He will not leave us to our fate but will be with us and enable us to pass through those hurdles.
So I believe that when I spread paper and cloth on the footpath and laid down to sleep, God was also there with me. I thank God for the love of my Lord.
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