When these thoughts were ruling in my heart, I heard the call for prayer from the Mosque reminding that it was time for prayer. I thought, "when I go and pray for the Muslim prayer, I will be getting peace." There are prayers five times in a day and every time call for prayer comes from the Mosque I would pray. After making all the preparations to recite the prayer. I entered in my prayer room. Though I entered my prayer room, I could not get any peace.
In Quran it is written that the recitation should be with concentration, that there should not be any other thought in the mind of the person who recites, that several Surahs (verses) have to be recited at the time of prayer with one mind, with the right intonation, and the correct rhythm and pronunciation, that the recitation should not be heard outside. It is also written that if the above-said guidelines were not followed, then Allah would not accept that prayer and also that he would punish those who do not recite properly. These things are taught in the Quran.
But when I started reciting, the order in which Surahs should be recited went wrong. What I should have recited at the end, I recited in the beginning, and which should be recited at the first, I recited at the end, what is needed to be recited while bending down, I did it earlier, what required at the time of sitting down I recited in the middle. Likewise, the whole sequence was messed up. I was unable to do in the correct order and I was not able to pray. I was completely terrified. I tried six times over and over again to do everything in the correct order. There is a book called prayer order, I brought it out and tried to read from it and tried to recite in the correct sequence and still, I could not do it in order.
I was completely terrified thinking, "oh, what is happening to me? This was not a matter which I learned just one time someday in my life so that I could not bring it back to my memory. This was what I was reciting five times in a day, which I was doing from the age of seven, which I had even recited correctly on the same day morning, which I could recite even if I was asked in sleep,
I started feeling that there must be some kind of power working behind it. I knelt down on my knees, raised both my hands towards heaven and said like this, "Allah, I do not have peace, I am feeling restless, now I do not have the ability to worship you. It is for you that my father had dedicated me. My life is completely for you. But I do not have the assurance that you are my Lord. Now if you bring me to that assurance and to that peace I will never again doubt you and I will give my whole life for you. No matter what happens, I will serve you. While saying like this and sitting on my knees with closed eyes, I felt as if a powerful wind blowing and entering my room. As the wind was blowing, I felt as if the walls of my room shaking, the glasses of the windows were shaking, hitting each other and making a big noise. The place where I was sitting was vibrating violently and my whole body was shaking. I was thrown away and fell down on the floor. I thought it would have been an earthquake. When I opened my eyes, I saw great light brighter than the shining sun was filled in my room.
Jesus Christ who lives in unapproachable light His presence came down in my room. But I did not recognize Him as Jesus. In one look I beheld a beautiful man's figure in the midst of bright light. But I could not see Him clearly because He was covered with bright light. I was unable to capture that image because the bright light was blinding my eyes. I covered my eyes with my hands. At that moment my fingers were shaking. I felt as if all my bones were running like water. Just like cotton moves in the direction of the wind, all my strength was gone and I collapsed on the floor. I became like numb. Then I thought, will it be the presence of Allah? I called out my Rab, Rehman who are you and what is this? My cry was not coming out of my mouth because there was no voice. Suddenly I heard a voice, "I am Jesus Christ who died for you on the cross, kneel down at my feet."
In the presence of that voice, I was thrown and fell down again. I said, "Jesus, my father dedicated me to Allah but now I am giving my father's vow to you. I am even ready to die for you. Because those children who are dedicated to Allah, those vows end with the death of a sacrifice. But vows would be taken and children would be dedicated to the work of Mosque but they don't do sacrifice. Because they believe that Abraham sacrificed his son Ishmael and they do it in remembrance of it.
But I said, Lord, I am dedicating this vow in front of you. Though I did not know how to say that time yet I said, "if I have to die for you still I will live for you. I will stand for your name." And I dedicated my life at that moment and accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior. When I was dedicating myself that time I had an experience of a different kind of power coming over me from my head to toe and covering me. And I felt as if something left me. Because of it a great faith and courage came in my life and I experienced getting knowledge and wisdom. An unspeakable boldness ruled over my life.
In Quran it is written that the recitation should be with concentration, that there should not be any other thought in the mind of the person who recites, that several Surahs (verses) have to be recited at the time of prayer with one mind, with the right intonation, and the correct rhythm and pronunciation, that the recitation should not be heard outside. It is also written that if the above-said guidelines were not followed, then Allah would not accept that prayer and also that he would punish those who do not recite properly. These things are taught in the Quran.
But when I started reciting, the order in which Surahs should be recited went wrong. What I should have recited at the end, I recited in the beginning, and which should be recited at the first, I recited at the end, what is needed to be recited while bending down, I did it earlier, what required at the time of sitting down I recited in the middle. Likewise, the whole sequence was messed up. I was unable to do in the correct order and I was not able to pray. I was completely terrified. I tried six times over and over again to do everything in the correct order. There is a book called prayer order, I brought it out and tried to read from it and tried to recite in the correct sequence and still, I could not do it in order.
I was completely terrified thinking, "oh, what is happening to me? This was not a matter which I learned just one time someday in my life so that I could not bring it back to my memory. This was what I was reciting five times in a day, which I was doing from the age of seven, which I had even recited correctly on the same day morning, which I could recite even if I was asked in sleep,
I started feeling that there must be some kind of power working behind it. I knelt down on my knees, raised both my hands towards heaven and said like this, "Allah, I do not have peace, I am feeling restless, now I do not have the ability to worship you. It is for you that my father had dedicated me. My life is completely for you. But I do not have the assurance that you are my Lord. Now if you bring me to that assurance and to that peace I will never again doubt you and I will give my whole life for you. No matter what happens, I will serve you. While saying like this and sitting on my knees with closed eyes, I felt as if a powerful wind blowing and entering my room. As the wind was blowing, I felt as if the walls of my room shaking, the glasses of the windows were shaking, hitting each other and making a big noise. The place where I was sitting was vibrating violently and my whole body was shaking. I was thrown away and fell down on the floor. I thought it would have been an earthquake. When I opened my eyes, I saw great light brighter than the shining sun was filled in my room.
Jesus Christ who lives in unapproachable light His presence came down in my room. But I did not recognize Him as Jesus. In one look I beheld a beautiful man's figure in the midst of bright light. But I could not see Him clearly because He was covered with bright light. I was unable to capture that image because the bright light was blinding my eyes. I covered my eyes with my hands. At that moment my fingers were shaking. I felt as if all my bones were running like water. Just like cotton moves in the direction of the wind, all my strength was gone and I collapsed on the floor. I became like numb. Then I thought, will it be the presence of Allah? I called out my Rab, Rehman who are you and what is this? My cry was not coming out of my mouth because there was no voice. Suddenly I heard a voice, "I am Jesus Christ who died for you on the cross, kneel down at my feet."
In the presence of that voice, I was thrown and fell down again. I said, "Jesus, my father dedicated me to Allah but now I am giving my father's vow to you. I am even ready to die for you. Because those children who are dedicated to Allah, those vows end with the death of a sacrifice. But vows would be taken and children would be dedicated to the work of Mosque but they don't do sacrifice. Because they believe that Abraham sacrificed his son Ishmael and they do it in remembrance of it.
But I said, Lord, I am dedicating this vow in front of you. Though I did not know how to say that time yet I said, "if I have to die for you still I will live for you. I will stand for your name." And I dedicated my life at that moment and accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior. When I was dedicating myself that time I had an experience of a different kind of power coming over me from my head to toe and covering me. And I felt as if something left me. Because of it a great faith and courage came in my life and I experienced getting knowledge and wisdom. An unspeakable boldness ruled over my life.
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